The Emotional Revolution Blog

The Wonder of Words

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 11:20:47 GMT

Setting The Intention For The New Year

A s we enter the New Year we will make resolutions, share our dreams with our friends and family and some of us will get creative doing vision boards for the things we wish to bring into our lives through the coming year and beyond. A new home, travel, a relationship and many other things. I started mine yesterday. It’s got a whole ten categories!! Which could be overwhelming, and I wouldn’t advise for beginners, but I’m a seasoned vision boardist so I’ll be ok!

As well as moving into the new year we also reflect on the years gone before. On our achievements, which can give us confidence to pursue more of our goals and is a great motivator and a reminder that we can succeed. We know life isn’t all chocolates and flowers, there are weeds, thorns and arrows to contend with that can block our path and hinder us on our way to our dreams. Especially if we have the pain of grief and loss to contend with too. There’s no denying that. But just for now, I’m going to move that aside, focus on the positive and just for fun ask you…

WHAT IS YOUR WORD FOR THIS YEAR?

What energy or intention are you going to carry through with you?

Many years ago, I was asked this. It was hard to pin down. With a bit of toing and froing with my teachers whilst my classmates and I scrambled and mined for our words, we got excited, stuck, frustrated and creative in choosing the right one. There are so many to choose from!! So what was the essence of the ‘thing’ we were looking for? Eventually I settled on ABUNDANCE . Because in the tougher times, when sometimes the possibilities seemed narrow, or when I felt fear around stepping out of my comfort zone to it helped me through. For the times I felt alone, if I reached out there were LOTS of people around to support me. If I was stuck for ideas, instead of beating myself up and circling the negative loop, if I was kind to myself and gave myself space, time and something uplifting to do; lunch with a friend or a crisp winter walk MANY ideas would come to me. One would lead to another to generate traction to guide me to the next steps towards my goals. More so, it kept me motivated through the bumps, whereas before I might have abandoned my dreams and given up when met with hurdles.

When I was first learning about setting life goals and how to be more of who I want to be in the world I read something that has stayed with me that said, ‘when you are feeling a lack, of anything; joy, inspiration, notice the ABUNDANCE in your life. Such as the presence and vitality of the flowers around you. Their MANY different colours, smells, sizes and shapes. See how MUCH choice you have when deciding which ones you want in your lounge. Look at how MANY animals there are if you wanted to choose a pet. And there were many other examples. The ABUNDANCE of life possibilities and options stayed with me. In the times I struggled to see them I knew it was only myself standing in the way.

When I work with clients to help with their visions I always ask them to think of an overarching word. We take our time with it and infuse it throughout the sessions and inbetween them too.

During another project I was doing my word was CHIC, because sometimes we’re just an ongoing work in progress. And that’s fun too.

Enjoy finding your word for 2026. Discuss with your friends, have fun and if you need me to help with your goals and transitions contact me via the links on the pages of this website. I’d love to support you with your vision.

Soothing the Senses

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 14:35:48 GMT

Tips On Beating The January Blues

Happy New Year and woohoo to the folks on that January mission to get fit or make a million pounds in three months. Enjoy!!!

But what if you have no excitemen t for this year? If hopes feel futile and you really can’t muster any motivation as we crawl further into the winter months? It’s ok!! Ditch the pressure to have goals , be happy or reinvent yourself. Give yourself permission to be wherever you are, to be sad, grumpy, tired. Or to grieve someone or something you are missing. But, remember to be kind to yourself too.

So what can you do to be gentle and generous with yourself in the middle of difficult emotions?

Personally I like to nurture the senses. To even indulge them. Not to sound trite but the simplest of things can offer us plenty of pleasure. Yep even when we’re struggling and have low energy.

Here are some suggestions:

What can you see?

Add a splash of colour to your home with a bunch of flowers

Frame a favourite photo and place it where you can see it

Treat yourself to a print that’s pleasing to you

Watch a funny film or a series to sink your teeth into

Are you listening?

Listen to some music that fits your mood and allow it to move you. Either emotionally or physically

Seek out sounds in nature that you like, The sound of the birds in the morning or the flow of a river

Find a podcast or audiobook you’re interested in

Listen out for what trusted family and friends are saying to you. What are the positive messages?

Smell the coffee…

Or anything else you might like to make in the kitchen. Which foods do you love to smell?

What aromas do you like? Put them in your home, car or workplace.

Find your favourite candles or diffusers and put them all over the place. Some of the budget supermarkets have great ones.

Or burn essential oils. Allow yourself to experiment with new aromas.

As always, nature. Ever abundant with flowers, trees, herbs and earthy smells (ok maybe not all of the earthy ones)

What tastes good?

Find a new recipe to try. There’s loads of simple ones free online.

Experiment with different herbs and spices

Share brunch or dinner with a friend

Create a new smoothie. Even if it doesn’t work you’ll have fun and make a mess!

A soft touch

Discover what material feels nice next to your skin and treat yourself to a scarf or even a new duvet cover or PJs. Especially if you’re wanting to hibernate. You’ll need them.

Emerge your whole body in a sumptuous bubble bath

Maybe book yourself a massage or a pedicure

Most of all, remember to rest. Sleep is good for the soul.

Try making it a habit do to at least one of these things for yourself everyday and remember you deserve to feel better. Happy experimenting.

A Crappy Kind of Christmas

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 22:06:46 GMT

Maybe So...

But You Can Still Be Kind To Yourself

It’s come around again. That time of year where the pressure is to be ‘jolly ’ and have a ‘magical’ Christmas. Whilst most of us grumble about the amount of extra load Christmas brings to our already stressful lives, finding the perfect presents, getting the food shop done and so on, when the festive day arrives most us are able to find some joy in it.

Sometimes however, it can be incredibly painful if you are struggling and as the build up to Christmas now seems to go on forever the sense of dread and anxiety can become deeper and more harmful. You just want it to be over with.

Many life circumstances make Christmas difficult; often the firsts . The first Christmas after the loss of a loved one; a family member, dear friend or even a pet for some people. The absence of that special person creates a huge void around the dinner table when you can no longer pull a Christmas cracker with them.

Or of course after a relationship breakup, when the classic and/ or trashy Xmas films are all about falling in love, romance reunions and resolutions where fairy tales happen on Christmas Eve in time for the big day. But you know you’re probably going to be having a blue soup kind of a day. Switch the channel.

The loss of a job can cause a financial burden and lack of identity which, in a culture that holds materialism and societal status as a key to happiness (if you believe the hype) can really undermine self worth and value.

These are just a few examples of life circumstances that can make us feel isolated and alone at this time of year. Even if we are sharing the day with others.

Q. So what can you do?

A. OWN IT!!!! Kick it in the head and decide you’re going to do Christmas YOUR way this year.

That might mean not partaking in Christmas at all, or just engaging in parts of it. That suit you .

I was chatting with a friend the other day who said that after her much loved mother died and her marriage broke up she decided she was not going to do any traditional kind of Christmas for a few years. In mixing it up she was able to at least try and look forward to the things she was about to do, instead of doing the things she usually did, which would just be an added reminder of who and what she had lost. For a few years she went on holiday to escape such emotional triggers, or went out for a pub lunch with a collective of single friends, or people who for whatever reason were unable to spend it with their families. Kind of like breaking the Christmas cycle and doing something different to what society (and your own nervous system) expects.

I’ve spoken to a number of people who have consciously decided to do Christmas day alone. Which may have initially felt daunting, but they had a mind shift and gave themselves permission to have some me time , bought themselves a great present and cooked themselves the Christmas dinner of their choosing. Even if that’s a curry!!

Personally I roast a duck every year even if I’m not having Christmas at my house. Because prepping it and deciding what to season it with makers me happy!

If money is tight, you could try having have an experiential day doing something cheap and cheerful alone or with others. A winter walk in the morning or going to a service on Christmas eve. That doesn’t cost a penny. Last year my sister and her partner did a park run in the morning.

If you find neither your friends or family are around and you don’t want to be alone you could always volunteer at a homeless shelter or a charity, cooking or whatever. Many people I know have done that and said it’s been one of their most rewarding Christmases.

During Covid my friend was so fed up that she put her tree up in November and took it down on Valentine’s Day of the following year. Another one left it up until Easter. You can just do what you want !!

I’m not suggesting that any of the above will deter the sad feelings (and nor should they, sadness often represents the love we had for someone or our former selves and we’re allowed to healthily grieve that) but it doesn’t have to consume us. we can take back some control of how our day goes on the 25th December!!!! If you wake up and want to cry, then cry, as hard as need to. Just make sure you do something nice for you with the day too. To give yourself some self love, gentleness and kindness. Plan something that would work for you to take the edge off.

For me, something I’ve really noticed this year is how irritating I’m finding the noise. The Christmas songs, the adverts and that high energy essence to make us festive giddy and spend more. It all just feels too much. So I’ve turned off the radio in the car. EASY!! I’ve eliminated it and kept Christmas shopping to a minimum. I’ve had a hard year too this year, so I’m doing what’s manageable and being where I’ll find some enjoyment in the middle of it.

For the first time in around twenty years I’m not putting my tree up. But I will be buying myself beautiful flowers and having scented candles dotted around. I’m good with that.

…And I’m just nipping out to buy the duck!

On a more serious note, If you’re finding that you're really struggling to cope on Christmas day, here’s a link to various helplines that are available. Please remember that there is always someone to talk to and many of these helplines are free to call.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/christmas-and-mental-health/useful-contacts/

Much Love

The Cheeky and Cheery Christmas List

Wed, 06 Dec 2023 08:43:02 GMT

Here's How To Manifest The Magic

Here we are again with the jingle bells just around the corner, mulled wine on the hob and the mystery of how to wrap that weird shaped prezzie knowing that the sellotape is going to get tangled up and stick to itself! Added to that the frantic Christmas shopping and conundrum of what to buy ‘difficult’ people. Hopefully I can help you with the last bit with a few delightful tips. Here we go.. Have fun!

THE CHEEKY AND CHEERY CHRISTMAS LIST

I know it’s a blindingly obvious solution, but this is a list with a difference. Which requires silliness, creativity and permission to dream. You simply think of all the things you want or need. No matter how big, small or audacious it seems. Often we then realise we don’t know what we want and this is where the silliness comes in. In this list you can put whatever you want. Be as extravagant and ridiculous as you like. Even if you know there’s next to zero chance of getting it. You can put a space ship on there if you feel like it. Add mundane things too. Then everything inbetween and get greedy! Remember you probably won’t get most of it so you can afford to be cheeky.

I did this with a counselling couple a number of years ago, who struggled to ask each other for what they wanted due to feeling awkward. Interestingly this manifested in other areas of their relationship, so our fun list was a great start to free up asking for their needs and wants to be met.

This was the woman’s wish list; Month long trip to Thailand, flat screen TV, iPad, charm bracelet, charms for her other bracelet, face cream, perfume, make up (get specific here because nobody wants to buy you the wrong colour, brand or scent), bottle of JD, salt and pepper pots, gloves and nail varnish remover. His was a brand new Audi, top of the range 4x4, holiday to the Caribbean, perfume, jumper, hat, gloves, scarf, gold bracelet, bottle of JD (looks like there’s a theme here), posh coffee, glasses- drinking not spectacles, paper for the printer and some gardening tools.

The male, being a self confessed grump, was resistant to this idea at first, with an aversion to being silly, but I have my ways of encouraging, people to be inventive and creative in the name of fun and it wasn’t too long before they were giggling at each other’s lists. The female really struggled with asking for what she wanted, but interspersed with the grand and not so grand things, and the realisation that this was actually helping her partner with some present ideas, she came to enjoy it. Suddenly they were catapulted into the splendour of the Christmas cheer spirit.

The couple returned to sessions in the New Year having had a joyous Christmas Day. They magically bought each other five gifts each from the list (they hadn’t agreed that, it was a fortunate fluke). There was much laughter and gift swapping over the hours. No exotic hols, expensive cars or digital items were revealed, but there were perfumes, face creams, glasses, salt n pepper pots, hat, scarf and gloves, jumpers, alcohol and a little charm in the mix. It was a year they were both feeling flush, which dovetails beautifully into my next tip.

AGREE AN EXPENSE LIMIT

We’ve all had that icky not knowing how much to spend dilemma, whether that be on family, friends or valued colleagues, so why not just bring it out into the open? Whilst that might feel awkward initially it gives clarity and everyone can agree on an amount based on their current financial circumstances. I personally have a little girl gang of four going on (including myself) and we do this every year. It always works and we all know where we are. That way you can write your list with your friends or group with that amount in mind. Depending on how many are in a friendship or family group you can ask all members to put their contributions together and choose something more expensive that you wouldn’t ordinarily treat yourself to. Those options could go in your list too. Equally you know you are going to gift presents that your friends have asked for. It can still be a semi surprise as they won’t know which item from their list they’re going to receive. But you will know whichever present you choose to buy will be wanted.

FORGET THE MATERIAL PRESENTS AND SHARE AN EXPERIECE TOGETHER

This could be anything from a delicious tapas meal to a short city break or simply a walk in the country. Doing stuff together is precious and a great way of sharing the love. Currently known as ‘making memories’ Might sound cheesy but giving time to the people we care about really is the best present.

It doesn’t have to cost anything to share an experience if money is tight. A wrapped up winter walk or a cup of tea with a friend you haven’t seen for a while can be a great tonic for the soul. You can also be smug in the knowledge that you have had a lovely time and it was all free!! Also it’s a great opportunity to get something nailed down in the diary. How often do we intend to see people but the months go on and we realise we haven’t seen them? Even if time is tight at Christmas you can make your arrangements for January when things can be a little grim and we need something to look forward to until spring appears.

FINALLY… LEARN GIVE FREELY TO RECEIVE GRACIOUSLY

Here’s a little snippet about life that I have learnt to love over the years. People can be really kind to each other. I think it’s important to remember this when the news is grim and we’re all wincing at the cost of living crisis. I have known many people agree to not buy each other anything because one person feels more of a financial lack than the other and that’s all ok. Only to find they still receive a gift on Christmas Day from the person who is financially able to do so. We love to give presents because we know how happy the other person will feel, regardless of what we receive in return. Some would argue that this could make the recipient feel awkward and further impoverished. But it could also reassure the person they are worthy of somebody’s love and generosity just for being them without having to give a damn thing back. If this applies to you I invite you to just let that in. If it makes you feel uncomfortable you might want to explore the art of receiving. But that’s a whole other blog. Enjoy!

Wishing You a Fun and Merry Christmas

Kim x